Your birth story matters: Here's why

I was headstrong and set on having the most peaceful, perfect birth with my first son. Blissed out on the hormones of pregnancy, I didn’t bat an eye when the midwives in Stockholm cautioned me of an oversized baby towards the due date. I had my doula, I had read all the books, and I was gonna let that baby boy come out when he was ready. At 42 weeks and still no sign of his arrival - and bursting from every seem – I just waited.

Several days and an emergency c-section later, I was in shock. In the recovery ward in a suburban Stockholm hospital, I felt like I had been hit by a bus and been through a weird, scary dream. The whirl of events that had occurred in the last hours were far from the idyllic vision I had mentally prepared for, and I was devastated. At the same time, I had a 5-kilo baby boy to take care of, and could barely walk due to the intense surgery I had experienced. It was confusing, upsetting, and altogether too much to take in.

The following months were hard. I was coping with the logistics of new motherhood, all while still shocked by the traumatic birth, and yet felt a deep sadness and loss inside of me. A loss of two things, my former life, and, my former state of mind: innocent, serene, carefree.

It took me another two years to process what had happened that July evening when my first son was born. When I was months away from having my second, I had the good fortune of midwife-supported birth counseling, where I was encouraged to write out my birth story. That process, along with talking through what had happened, helped me realize that I did my best in an incredibly hard situation. When my second son was born naturally on a warm May afternoon with jazz playing in the background, my conscience began to make peace with my story. I began to realize how powerful I am, how I can cope with more chaos than I knew I was capable of, and that I have it in me to go through hardship, reemerge with strength that I didn’t know was there.

This empowerment has carried me through my journey of motherhood thus far. Over eight years later, I still feel reminded of this inner resilience when times get tough. Motherhood rocks me regularly, and I keep getting through it. I know I am strong and can handle the storms. Because their births taught me so.  

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If you haven’t had the mind space yet to process your birth story yet, this month we are hosting a workshop at Arco to help you begin. Join Emi Tsoref, Arco mama and yoga teacher, to reflect upon the memories and emotions you are carrying around your birth. To register for the event, click here.